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SOCK WARS III : THE RULES (last updated 1.20.08)
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>> WHAT IS SOCK WARS?<<

Sock Wars is the original and bloodiest extreme knitting tournament. If you are brave enough sign up to do battle you will be emailed a top secret assassination dossier on 9th May 2008. This file contains the details of your target and an exclusive, never-been-published-before knitting pattern with which to assassinate them.

To kill your target you must knit them the pair of socks in the pattern (your weapon) and mail it to them. Once your target receives your parcel they are dead and must post their death on the “fallen comrades” section of the sockwars site.

They must also immediately send you details of their intended target (who becomes your next person to assassinate) along with their unfinished knitting (which becomes your new weapon).

All the while this is going on, someone has been assigned you as their target…

Prepare to live in fear… Kill or be killed!

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>> SIGNUPS <<

Signups are done in a 2 stage process. Firstly you join the Sock Wars 3 warrior list via the website. You are now a blood hungry warrior.

You will be emailed as a reminder one week prior to the tournament starting. You have 3 days to respond with your mailing address. This step is essential to rule out any last minute “drop outs”.

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>> THE RULES OF SOCK WARS <<

1. The first rule of Sock Wars is: You must talk about Sock Wars.
2. The second rule of Sock Wars is: You MUST talk about Sock Wars.
3. Two socks to a fight.
4. One fight at a time.
5. No shirts, no shoes, just socks
6. Fights will go on as long as they have to.

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>> SOCK WARS: AT-A-GLANCE SUMMARY <<
1. Get dossier
2. Knit like billy-o
3. Mail socks to your target – live in fear of your mailman
4. Receive socks? Bang, you’re dead!
5. Post your death on Sock Wars site
6. Mail socks-in-progress back to your killer
7. Your killer knits to kill your original target
…and on and on until only one supreme warrior remains

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>> QUICK REFERENCE CONTACTS <<

Website tbc – to be launched 2.14.08
Blog http://www.yarnivation.blogspot.com
Supreme Commander Julie Gardner – yarnie@astrofilm.co.uk

www.sock-wars.com
Yahoo Group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sockwars/

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>> GENERAL QUESTIONS <<

Q. How will you communicate with me? How do I know what’s going on?
A. Special Announcements will be posted on the group and emailed as a special message for those group members not receiving the daily digests.

Q. What about flakes? I heard last round several people didn’t get any socks because their assassin flaked out.
A. It is extremely unlikely that any socks will go astray in the mail. No matter where you are in the world the proportion of lost packages is infinitesimally small. Those who didn’t receive their socks last year didn’t get them because their partner flaked out.

To avoid the flakes as much as possible here's the deal: I will remind everyone in good time, so this fixes the problem of those who flake because they forgot they'd signed up.

Defaulters or those going AWOL will be contacted by me or a moderator and have 48 hours to get in touch before being disqualified.

In the event of someone's disqualification their assassin is considered the killer and they move on to their next target.

Q. What about general bad behaviour?
A. Bad behaviour, such as snarking or insulting, will result in a yellow card, 2 yellow cards result in instant disqualification from the group. If you feel someone is being rude, insulting or whatever email one of the moderators off list and we’ll take it from there.

Q. When is all this taking place?
A. Signups close 23:59 GMT on 3rd May 2008.
You will be assigned your target to kill on 9th May 2008.
Artillery (ie needles/yarn) requirements will be advised to you at least two weeks in advance of the war starting.

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>>SIGN-UP QUESTIONS<<

Q. I’m signing up as a warrior, what’s “nom de guerre”?
A. Just like some writers prefer to publish under a pseudonym (or nom de plume), some participants prefer to go by a war name. If you want to - be our guest, just enter it in this column.

Q. Howzat with the $2 registation fee? I never had to pay before?
A. This year we have set up our own website to run the wars in the way we really need it to work for everyone. Previous wars have had their technical limitations – this way we run it how we want. In an exciting new move we are also introducing a backup army of sock “Valkyries” (i.e. Sock Angels). In the unlikely event that someone should end up with no socks the Valkyries will step in and knit that person a pair. No-one will finish Sock Wars III without a pair of socks. The itty bitty registration cost allows for the reimbursement of Valkyries costs.

Q. Who do I talk to about membership/technical problems?
Please email the moderators if you have any problems. The group won’t thank you for posting your “I can’t find my name on the list” on a messageboard.

Q. I’m signing up as a warrior, what’s “nom de guerre”?
A. Just like some writers prefer to publish under a pseudonym (or nom de plume), some participants prefer to go by a war name. If you want to - be our guest, just enter it in this column.

Q. What’s sock size? Why are you asking for my country?
Just enter your normal shoe size. Lots of countries measure this differently – For example I’m a european 40 or a UK 6.5. – I’m not expecting an american or korean to necessarily know how to convert this. To ensure everything is fair we will all work with the one set of conversions which will be provided with the pattern.

Q. I live in [insert name of country], can I participate?
A. Why not? As with love, war knows no boundaries. The more the merrier (or should that be eviler?)

Q. Will I be assigned a target half way across the world?
A. As far as is reasonably practical assassins will be assigned targets in roughly the same neck of the woods to them in round 1. After that you may end up fighting someone on the other side of the planet – but that just adds to the kill or be killed/mailman frisson, no?

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>>PATTERN & MATERIALS QUESTIONS<<

Q. What are the yarn requirements?
A. I will be using the scrummy TOFUtsies by SWTC, our generous sponsors. Precise gauge/tension etc will be published by 26th April.

This is a stashbusting exercise. There are rich people, poor people and all kinds of inbetween people partipating here. War is class-less. I don’t think you should feel obliged to use the yarn I did. I liked it, you might not or you might have an allergy. I’m not forcing a student to choose between eating this week or buying a proscribed yarn for Sock Wars. Any yarn is fine as long as it hits the gauge.

Q. I am a swatch-heathen and can’t be bothered to swatch, can you give me a list of yarns that might be suitable?
A. Shame, shame, shame on you – if your target gets a wrongly sized pair of socks because you didn’t swatch I will personally give them permission to come and poke you with knitting needles. If you really, really must google the tension or read the messageboards to what other, more virtuous, people (who could be bothered to swatch) found.

Q. What gauge/tension?
A. Gauge/tension will be published to everyone by 26th April.

Q. How will I know what kind of yarn my target will like? What colour should I use?
A. I’ll allow Wendy from Sock Wars II to answer this one. “I'm going to purchase my ammunition (yarn and needles) tomorrow. I hope that my victim finds them wearable in their sock "afterlife," but I'm not gonna worry about it. I'm certainly not going to waste valuable knitting time shopping! I never heard of 007 asking an opponent which gun they'd like to be killed by”.

Q. What needles should I use?
A. Like with the yarn you can use whatever you like as long as they are a form of knitting in the round. I have written the pattern for 4 dpns, this is simply the way I prefer to knit. You might prefer 5, you might find you’re faster on 2 circulars. Any way is fine. Just make sure you’re HAND knitting! No cheeky sock machines (yes, people have asked) – the pattern has been designed to make this nigh on impossible.

Q. Where is the pattern? Why can’t I see it?
A. You will be sent the pattern by email on 9th May as part of your assassination dossier. The pattern is an orginal, never-before-published, exclusive pattern. This ensures no-one can cheat and pre-knit. The pattern will be sent in a group mailout, so they are all sent together. As a backup, and for those who may not be near their in-box the pattern will be posted on the blog and on the Sock Wars website.

There is one pattern for everyone to knit. The only difference will be sock length. In the dossier is your target's address and sock size. Full and simple instructions will be given on how to customise the pattern to your target's sock size.

Q. What’s in the dossier?
The pattern along with your target’s address details. You will be emailed it to the address you gave in the signups. (It is up to you to ensure your details are up to date!)

Q. I’m a new sock knitter, how hard will the pattern be?
A. The pattern has been designed so that even a beginner can pick it up easily. If you get stuck just holler on the board, there’ll be lots of other knitters willing to share their experience.

Q. I’m a hoary old sock fiend, how easy/boring will the pattern be?
It’ll have enough there to keep your interest. Remember you’re also free to customise your “weapon” if you like. In previous years there was some fun with improvised intarsia and the like. There will be details on what level of customisation is allowed (e.g. flagrant disregard for stitch pattern is not allowed!)

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>>THE GAME – THE NITTY GRITTY AND WHAT IFS<<

The aim of the game is to kill your target. A kill is made when the target receives the socks you have knit for them. Therefore you need to knit like billy-o and get those socks in the mail.

Q. Can I courier the socks to my target?
A. Anything goes in the name of the war. Some people hand delivered their socks, some used normal mail, some used fedex. It is up to you. Also keep in mind the old adage of the hare and the tortoise…

Q. How do I know/prove an item was actually sent.
A. To avoid any misunderstandings a new rule has been introduced this time round. Anything mailed needs to have proof of postage. This can be a scan/photo of a certificate of postage or a photo of the stamped up package. Anything that conveys proof that you have actually mailed the item, and the date it was mailed will do. You should be able to produce this within 48 hours in the event of a query by the mods.

Q. I am dead. Now what do I do?
You must post that you are dead on the warrior database. STRAIGHT AWAY! Then slip your stitches off onto some waste yarn, bundle the sock you were working on and the yarn off to your assassin, so they can kill your target. Do not send your needles.

Now - not so fast. Just hold on a minute there sonny and figure this out, just WHO are you going to send them to?

Now smart participants might realise they can still affect the game even though they’re dead. Before mailing off the imcomplete socks check the warrior database. Is your own assassin dead? If so is there any point sending incomplete socks to them? They’ll only have to send them on to their own assassin. Well, you’re left with 2 possible options here – both influencing the game which is continuing without you:
1. Be evil - Make like you never looked and send the socks to your assassin (increasing the likelihood their assassin is killed while waiting for the socks to chain back to you).
2. Be nice – send them straight to your assassin’s assassin who gets maximum time to kill your own target.

Q. I haven’t been contacted, what do I do? Or: I sent socks but my target hasn’t posted they are dead?
A. Contact the moderators. We will contact that person and they have 48 hours to respond or they are automatically kicked out of the tournament. Previous “flake” precautions should avoid this. There will be mega public humiliation for anyone pulling this kind of disruption and we will work out some kind of consolation...

Q. I never got my socks. How come?
A. Again, contact the moderators. In the highly unlikely event that your socks don’t matierialise we will have one of our sock Valkyries will knit you a pair. No-one goes home empty handed.

Q. I’d like to pay it forward in knitting karma and volunteer to be a knitting Valkyrie – how do I do it?
A. Again, drop an email to the moderators.

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What ifs?

Most “what if’s” are simply figured out using the ABCD method of explanation. This is where:-

A = Your Assassin
B = You
C = Your Target
D= C's Target
and so on...

A knits for B. C knits for D. A kills B. B is dead and must send incomplete socks to A for completion to kill D and so on.

Q. What if my assassin kills me and I kill my target at the same time. Surely neither of us will be dead in that scenario?
A. No matter what happens it boils down to ABCD. So A mails socks to B, B mails socks to C at same time. Neither A nor B is dead until they receive their socks. (If you were a real assassin and mailed someone a nice arsenic-laced apple pie, your target will not die until they actually get hold of the pie, will they?) As soon as either receives their package they must post on the warrior list that they are now dead. Play continues…

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MORE QUESTIONS? STILL UNSURE? EMAIL THE SUPREME COMMANDER: YARNIE@ASTROFILM.CO.UK

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